ramadan return

My new website is currently having server issues which has prevented me from logging in and I’m not patient enough to wait until the problem is solved to be able to write again, so I’m back from Ramadan to share my thoughts on this blog!

[day 2]

if all i get from this month is hunger and thirst

then it will be a waste

and yet

i fear that the absence of food and drink

will drive me away from any other effort

pull me down as i climb the hierarchy of needs

to achieve a greater me

self actualization, where art thou

but a hazy mirage behind my daydream of succulent water droplets

and the sounds of hunger pangs

i haven’t been myself all year

so who knows what shadow of a soul i will be in this month

upset sleep cycles, remembrance of God and our transitory state of being

if all i get from this month is hunger and thirst

then it will be a waste

i pray i don’t wince at the true nature of my face 

poem day 2

There are now 7 billion people in the world

the stakes are even higher

the chances are even slimmer

for us to meet the one

not our soul-mates

those are a whole different matter,

(too many other factors and variables

when it comes to the alchemy of the heart)

to meet the one

encompasses so much more

the one who will mend our broken spirit

the one who will gift us with new hope

the one who will grant us the winning opportunity

the one who will save our life

i weep sometimes at night

and hope i will be able to find the one

i struggle to keep the tears from filling my eyes

so my vision isn’t too blurred

and stops me from seeing the light

or reading what is in plain sight

-maktub

swallow life whole | an original poem

sometimes you get that little buzzing feeling in your underbelly

when you feel mischief pulsing in your veins

reckless abandon caressing the nape of your neck

pecking your cheeks

and you hope to god the devil didn’t send those winds of change your way

because everything seems ready at your feet

awaiting your pearly white teeth

to take a bite

and swallow life whole

no water necessary

forgive me, if i am the only one who knows how that feels

i figure it would be nothing short of narcissism

to believe that temptation only tempts

the severely unkempt folk like me

it isn’t that easy you know

fighting

god is not the boss of me

god is not the boss of me

he doesn’t lord over me tossing me demands and requests to get the job done or else he’ll fire me

that’s not what my contract says

i didn’t sign that. i didn’t i swear

i read it once, read it a thousand times

and i know it never said anything like that

a boss needs his employee, you see

he sets out a posting for someone with all the qualifications he wants

to help him and his business succeed whatever that may be

but when you’re running the whole world, universe, galaxy

you honestly think god needs someone to help him

and that someone is me?

he doesn’t need my prayer

doesn’t need my fasts, my charity, my pilgrimage, my declaration of faith

his master plan won’t fall apart

if i don’t pull it together and follow the rules he laid out

he won’t go turn around and replace me with someone better

out of frustration and desperation

—no

god is not the boss of me

god is my teacher

i need his guidance, his teaching, his light

to get me through each day

he simply watches with concern

doesn’t grade but on my effort

not the outcome of performance

i intepret his words to the best of my ability

and i listen i pray and listen and do what i know is right

what i know he told me is right

out of curiosity and love

not out of fear and retribution

because the best students come from those who are unafraid to make mistakes

so i refuse to let you tell me that my instincts,

my unique thoughts, feelings and ideas of my religion

are somehow a direct disobedience and failure to follow commands

that i have lowered my duties to fit my comfort level yet expect the same reward as every one else

well, guess what?

i don’t care to be the employee of the month, year, decade or century

because god is not the boss of me

and i don’t want his money

i’m working for the pleasure of his company

– © Nesima Aberra 2011

newspaper heart

my heart is not black and white and read all over like a newspaper

if it bleeds, it doesn’t lead,
it stays below the fold

its story isn’t quick,
there is no nut graf for the soul

it doesn’t break the news,
it wants to have the whole
the beat is not objective,
you’ll hear whatever needs to be told
it won’t work on deadlines, frontlines, or sidelines,
its pulse is uncontrolled
my heart is not black and white and read all over like a newspaper
and it cannot be sold

creativity collage

photo credit:mugley

photo credit:vladimer04

photo credit:lauraoliviabaker

photo credit:Tim Walker

Photo credit: Dylan MacMaster

photo credit: rafael milani

when i’m feeling down, out of it or lost, i immerse myself with photography. now if only i had the skills to replicate the kinds of photos that make me shiver, sigh, laugh and cry.

there’s nothing like visual stimulation to make your thoughts go aflutter into a cave of wonders. please enjoy these beautiful pieces of art and get inspired to create your own collage while you’re on your own writing journey to complement what you’re working on.

rainfall: a poem

photo credit:Corey Leopold

i need to move somewhere where rainfall isn’t a cause for celebration

where it’s something so familiar and comforting

like a morning conversation with a good friend

not like an exceptional long distance phone call

that comes through only at the most opportune time

Writer’s note: It’s raining now, hence the inspiration behind this piece. As I live in a desert climate, there’s always mixed feelings about the coming of rain and I can never get enough of it. I know people who live in eternally drizzling spots of the country would argue with me about the wonders of it, but it really makes the city ( and me)  so relaxed and humble.