missing

homesickness is not just for a familiar place

but for a familiar part of myself

wanderlust is not just for an undiscovered place

but for an undiscovered part of myself

wherever i go, there i am,

missing

I wrote this poem maybe an hour ago after an exhausting day/week. It’s funny how my brain and my heart are cycling through so many different emotions that it’s hard to keep track of and I can barely answer the question: “How are you?” Struggling to balance emotions, I believe, is a sign that a person is keeping too much inside and not putting enough on paper. I haven’t been writing regularly because I’m studying for the GRE. The test is next weekend and I’m so happy to get it over with. It’s put my life on hold and my novels at a standstill. Of course when ideas and characters’ voices pop into my head, I immediately write/type something down or save a voice note on my phone. I’m always afraid of missing the important things in life. I suppose I will always have that fear, no matter how much older I get. 

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untitled poem on love

i never used to cry in romantic comedies

or during songs about love

i never used to express that emotion because i felt

that letting it all out was a sign of weakness

a signal of irrationality,

cliche naivety

the eternal optimism was just so alien to me

i couldn’t understand why everyone just loved love so much

tell me, do i just have a hardened heart?

i think i’m too young for one of those

my heart has no reason for to be so difficult to awaken

the world is too small

our lives are too short

and when i think about the certainty of death, i realize

i have no time to be wasting my cynicism on things that allow me to feel more human

because i will never be human again

i will never be this human again

love will not be there for me when my soul has left this earth

neither will money

career

degrees

or material possessions

that must be why we chase love

love can find us and slip so effortlessly away

it is the one thing that we all want, despite how much it scares and fascinates us

love has become a part of our stories, our myths, our legends

yet we are still so far from understanding it

so we cry and pen letters and songs

in hopes that we will one day be blessed with its knowledge

one day we will discover love’s rosetta stone

and share its secrets with all of humanity

New Year writing resolutions

“The most beautiful things are those that madness prompts and reason writes.”

-ANDRÉ GIDE

Hope you all had a lovely New Year’s!

I got to spend 2 weeks back at home in Arizona visiting family and friends and I’ve returned to the Bay Area in 2014,  refreshed and ready to continue my fellowship while also tackling my personal/professional projects.

I want to share my writing resolutions to encourage you and also hold myself accountable to these lofty goals.

  1. Revise and submit my short story for the Hijabulous anthology
  2. Complete my NaNo novel by July 31
  3. Have my novel manuscript ready to send out to agents by December 31
  4. Write a book review every 2 months
  5. Join a writing group or at least attend some writing community events
  6. Write 2 new poems and try to share them

What are your writing resolutions? Any tips or advice you’d like to share?

When Disney Princesses Turn Evil

When Disney Princesses Turn Evil

Evil Ariel!

I absolutely LOVE fairytales with a twist. These illustrations of evil Disney princesses like Pocahontas, Ariel, and Mulan are genius. Now we just need stories to match every picture….

One idea, Ariel’s left hand has been replaced by a fork, so maybe she got bitten by a shark and then Prince Eric no longer wanted to be with her (since he was drawn to her beauty in the first place and didn’t really pay attention to her personality, let’s be real here). Her loneliness and desperation drove her mad and pushed her to seek solace in the sea again as a mermaid. Pollution and sewage in the ocean, thanks in part to Prince Eric’s carelessness, has infected poor Flounder and warped him into a bitter, crazy creature and killed off many of Ariel’s family members. Together, Ariel and Flounder plot their revenge against the human world…

Not bad, right? It’s so fun to see how anything can inspire you:)

If you want more, check out the artist’s blog!

and then you’ll be free

have you seen him?
the white, godless, privileged male
version of my self

he exists out in the realm of my mind between black and white
where only grey matters
where the divine can’t reach me
where the poor don’t touch me
where the women don’t control me
where the minorities don’t dilute me

my liberation is bound up in his
only his restless, sinful soul will quench my thirst for purpose
for true fulfillment

because you see the way i am right now
i am the lowest of the low
the poorest of the poor
my shackles and fetters will not vanish simply if i turn my head away from mecca
my skin color still remains
my gender still remains
i’m still me
in your eyes, i will never escape from the bondage of inferiority

i can only be free when i become him
the white, godless, privileged male
version of my self
and then i will rise
rise
rise

and you will stand beside me
and say, “see, that wasn’t so hard was it? now why can’t the rest of your people do that?”